I live in a 1914, slightly dilapidated, brick house in the middle of Denver with the best of the best. I'm not just saying that. My roommates are some of the coolest people you'll ever meet.
K is good at everything. She's insanely smart, funny/punny, great at sports (willing to teach even the most unskilled), patient, level-headed and adventurous. She's the "big deal" of our household.
R is one of the most confident people you'll ever meet (but not in an arrogant way). She's wise, funny, outdoorsy, independent, great at cooking and can heal any weird rashes, strange coughs or fear of doctors.
L is the life of the party. But, more than that she loves people well, is up for anything, independent, hilarious, the best crafter/gift giver and if you ever have a dance party you better invite her to get it all started.
But, it's not just these three. There are so many wonderful people around me who seem to have their niches in life all worked out. Which of course, instead of being happy for them in my hobby-less normalcy, led me to develop a bit of a complex.
Around January (its taken me a while to write this blog) this black gunk began seeping in to every part of me. You know, the one that constantly reminds you that you'll never be above-average at anything...that no guy would ever want to date you after realizing how awesome your friends are...that eating ice cream cannot be construed as a legitimate hobby.
Then months ago, out of frustration, I went for a run (if you know how I feel about running then you know it was only a desperate situation that led me to it). I was venting/wallowing and felt the Lord say, "Be who I called you to be." I rarely feel God speak to me, but this sentence was so clear.
Be who I called you to be. Don't try to be K or R or L (or fill in the blank), because then you won't grow into the fullest potential of who I created you to be.
There was so much freedom in that sentence. God designed me to be in community, to learn from and love the people He puts in my path. But, the minute I compare myself to another person, I turn away from God and tell Him that His plans, His purposes for my life aren't enough—the person he designed me to be is not enough.
Literally the day after this revelation, I met Bob Goff in the flesh. (If you haven't read his book, do so now!)
He's the type of person that just by spending 5 minutes with him makes you want to love people better. While listening to the amazing stories of the work he has done around the world, a thought that would never have crossed my mind two days before did—"I don't want to be Bob Goff." Because even if I tried with all my might to be Bob Goff, I would fall so short of who God called me to be. If you ever meet him you'll understand how big of a revelation this is.
I share all of this because I know I'm not the only one who struggles to see the goodness in myself that I see in others. And honestly, some days it's easier to feel freedom in God's voice saying, "Be who I called you to be." But those are the sweetest days, the ones we should cling to, because they are the ones filled with truth.
I pray we can walk in that truth and rejoice in that freedom together.